To get down the driveway, I decided not to fight the snowdrifts and I put on my snowshoes. There is no point struggling through knee-deep snow if I don't have to! I just wanted to clear a little pathway just in case we get our delivery today. Alex and I are very loosely contemplating shoveling the rest of the driveway...later. :)
The blizzard left a lot of snow and a lot of damage, but we were lucky at home that no trees fell down in this area. Nature is tough! The sun was desperately trying to pop through this morning when I took the huskies for their 45-minute walk, it's about a mile and a half walk each morning and I'm loving it. It's hard to get myself into the snowsuit though, but once I'm out, I want to keep going! Walking in the winter is more challenging and I have to stretch after each walk now or I feel it in my legs and lower back. I can't wait for the weather to get better so I can take Jack with us and walk much longer through the woods!
But the girls do need their walk every day, especially Charlie or she gets that depression. We have a nice covered bridge here over the river, it gives the town a little quaint village feel to it! But tomorrow is Friday and the town is very quiet for now...soon all the weekenders will invade with their loud snowmobiles and ignorant "boom boom boom" of the car stereo, sigh. We can't control other people, just our own reactions to them, so we choose to hibernate even more on weekends!! The knowledge that buying our little quiet property in about 2 years time keeps me patient through the weekend noise!
Last night was supposed to be Chicken Cesar Salad, but once again I veered from the menu plan. Gosh, this free-spirit spontaneous meal attitude I've had lately is making me edgy lol...we both preferred some comfort food so I used the chicken to make my Mexican Lasagna instead.
A little indigestion was worth it lol...tonight is supposed to be chili night, but I think we'll be making a pork tenderloin instead. I've mentioned before that we love to eat comfort food, but once in a while we need some clean eating to balance everything out! I think I'll make the Apricot Brandy Glaze with it, it was so delicious the last time I made it!
*****
Do you ever have a "I wish I could change X" moment? These are just random thoughts I'm having today...I was doing so well with my eating. I started to take a spritz of Rescue Remedy before each meal and it relaxed me enough that no food got stuck. Last night though, I had a small issue with a piece of chicken getting stuck at the base of my esophagus...no matter how many times it happens, I feel scared and traumatized. So I was thinking "I wish I could change my uncontrollable anxiety and PTSD so that I can relax enough so that I don't feel frightened every time a meal is coming up"...but then it's a pipe dream, I can't, I've done every test, tried every medication, done every therapy...the only "possible solution" (medical term apparently) is a surgery that will keep my esophagus "valve" open to my stomach. Sure, no food will get stuck ever, but acid will definitely make it's way up all the time I was told. It's no solution for me, but what can I do, this health problem is with me for good, has been since I was 8 years old - at least that's my earliest memory of food getting stuck.Is there something you wish you could change, that you know deep down you just have to live with? Deep thoughts on a Thursday afternoon lol...
Hi Rain! How lovely to live in the Laurentians or les Laurentides -- do you and Alex speak French too? I've developed the same kind of pesky swallowing issue but just in the last couple of years. I've had every test in the book too but the doctors say there's no physical cause for it. So it must be stress-related for me too, I guess. The more stress I have, the more pronounced it gets, so that's a giveaway, isn't it, lol! It strikes me rather erratically, not at every meal, so it's more of an annoyance at this point than anything else.
ReplyDeleteHi Debra :)) Thanks for dropping by :) I'm SO SORRY that you have to go through that, it's a horrible thing to deal with. Mine used to be every single meal, but I've noticed that lunchtime is always okay, I think, as you have, it's mostly stress-related, so after a good night's sleep and a relaxing morning, I'm okay to eat. But with the little stressors of the day, it starts to constrict...some foods make it worse though like beef and sticky stuff like rice. I still haven't found a way to relax that area, I do yoga, meditation, exercise, breathing, now the Rescue Remedy. Oh well...yes, we both speak French, since I stopped working though mine is dwindling more, it's a beautiful area here, it'll be tough to leave!!
ReplyDeleteI think you're handling the food/choking issue in a really good, sensible, mature way. Plus, the power of positive thinking goes a looonng way in overcoming many of our emotional issues. Don't cha wish it was easier to keep those positive thoughts going 24/7 though?
ReplyDeleteOkay, here's my (being very honest) thing about myself I wish I could change. I wish I could stop feeling I never accomplish enough, I'll never reach my potential, I'm never good enough. Even though the feeling stems from my childhood and I have wonderful people in my life that love and encourage and tell me I shouldn't feel that way, I still do. Geesh, you would think a grown-up (well, mostly), mature (kinda/sorta), intelligent (halfway) person would be able to overcome something instilled in her way back (waaaaay back!) in childhood.
Hi Mama Pea :) Thank you so much, I'm trying to deal with it well, but I break down a lot in Alex's arms, just out of sheer frustration that nothing I do helps. I'm still working on self-healing and self-improvement though every day!
ReplyDeleteI can relate a lot to what you wish you could change because I have that part of me too that most of the time I squish right down, which isn't good, I need to deal with it. Mine also stems from childhood and I really believe no matter how much work we think we're doing to change our thinking, what is instilled a long time ago is always kind of lingering with us, especially at our weaker moments. I was flabbergasted when I read your 54,000+ meal record! Would you think that's not good enough? I could sing your praises (and I do, Alex knows you by name lol)...about your garden, your projects, your fowl friends...really! In truth though, no matter how much praise we get, sometimes we can't hear it for the loud voice saying it's still not good enough! Logic doesn't always work because if you list down all of what you've done in your life, my gosh, people out there would be mighty impressed. I guess that begs the question, what do YOU think is a life accomplished? I sound like a therapist ha ha ha...bu really...I've changed my thoughts on that, for me it's a happy, harmonious, healthy and loving home life. Just being with Alex for 4 years is huge for me because I've only had 2 other boyfriends when I was 17 then 19 years old, and I wouldn't really call those relationships! Simplicity is a big accomplishment for a former people-pleasing workaholic who NEEDED material everything to feel accomplished! Sorry for the novel :) Thanks for your honest response!!! xx
You can be my therapist any time!! :o)
DeleteI don't come cheap lol...
DeleteWow, your Anniversary day was a bit traumatic, I'd say!!!
ReplyDeleteIf I could change anything it was the time I let stress rule my life and cause me to develop Fibromyalgia. I wish I'd just taken a deep breath and chosen a different path. It's done now and I'm making the best of what I do have.
Thank you for your comments on my blog, you inspire me so much with your attitude, lifestyle and of course delicious recipes.xxx
Thank you Yarrow :))) You're so nice :) You know, I knew one person with Fibromyalgia, and I'm sorry that you have to go through that. But you're right, it's done. We have to make the best of it, or life just isn't enjoyable. But there are times when I do wish things were a little different. I think everyone has a personal/physical struggle and I wonder if I didn't have this, what would it be? At least I know what to expect now and (for the most part) I know how to handle the eating issue. It gets embarrassing when we go out to eat though, so we don't really go out that much. So my boyfriend has adjusted to it as well, which I'm really grateful for!
DeleteI actually have a rather long list of things I would change - more from the sense of the pain that they created rather than the long term effects of them. If I had a single one, it would be deciding to try going into business for myself and a number of rather poor decisions I made as a result of that. The ultimate result was that we ended up where we are today, which has worked out okay. The rather sad part was the rather tortuous route we took to get here.
ReplyDeleteHi Toirdhealbheach :) I can relate to the torturous route to get where I am! I kind of have the attitude of Sam I Am, where I ultimately wouldn't want any changes, because right now I'm quite happy and fulfilled and who knows how life would have turned out otherwise. But I do have those moments when I wish I never have to go through it, I call them my little Rain tantrums :)
DeleteI really wouldn't change anything because it got me where I am today which is happily ever after but it did take me a long time to get here! LOL! Love those snow shoes!
ReplyDeleteI agree Sam. In the grand scheme of things, I like how my life ended up and I'm so happy now. If one are of my life went down a different path, maybe I wouldn't have met Alex or realized how I love nature and a simple life. You have a great attitude!! :)
DeleteHi Rain! I love those snowshoes! I need a pair :) That covered bridge is certainly adorable!
ReplyDeleteI tend to get a bit anxious with certain things/situations. That's a hard thing to try and get rid of! I have been taking well being and mindfulness courses through my work and just recently completed a 9 week training course. Helpful but this is going to be a long road for sure!!!
I love the look of that Mexican lasagna! Looks delicious! My reflux wouldn't love it but I sure would! :)
I totally understand how you get annoyed with the weekend warriors coming into your area and making noise and not having any regard for the residents who live there. Living in the "big" city you are never without noise, but I get really annoyed when the neighbors around tend to not care either. I crave for silence, and just keep dreaming too of one day living in the woods, with my animals. My very own Walden! :)
My work makes for a VERY busy day and all I want at the end of the day is to go home and find peace and quiet. Hard to do in the city. I keep wishing I would win the lottery too so I can hurry up my dream - but that never happens either!!! :)
Have a good day!
Dianna
Hi Dianna :))) Anxiety is so difficult to manage isn't it? You have zero control because the mental will turn physical before you know it. I often say to Alex that I feel like I'm losing my mind when I have panic attacks because my logical mind knows NOTHING is wrong! Tell my body that!!! I hope your training course is helpful! I do some at-home workshops on lots of different self-improvement subjects and I've found them helpful. The only thing is that in the moment of that high anxiety I tend to forget what I've learned!! Isn't that always the case??
DeleteMy stomach rebelled against the Mexican lasagna too, for two days ha ha...I can say today that it was worth it for that taste and texture, but ask me yesterday and I likely would have said "never again..." :)
Walden...I keep trying to read it, but the language he uses is hard for me to follow at times! I also have Thoreau's "Walking" and in the same vein Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Nature and Other Essays"...I think that I need to get back to those three books while it's a warm spring WEEKDAY on the hammock!! :) I want my very own Walden too!!! I think the phenomena of the weekend warrior is just that city people are so used to the noise, to the fast moving pace that they aren't able to adjust when they spend their 2 days a week in the country. They fail to realize that this is most people's HOME, not party-central! But it's like that in all cottage-country areas so the best we can do it put up with it for now and say a very permanent farewell in a few years! I hope your dream of a quiet life doesn't take too long for you to reach!!
Oh I've given up on the lottery lol...I used to always get a weekly ticket, then I got addicted to that scratch Tic Tac Toe money-wasters...they make it so you win a free ticket every few you buy so you get hooked!!! LOL...no more wishing for the big jackpot! I have to make my own jackpot now! :)
Rain - i do not know your religion, if you have one, or if you practice.
ReplyDeletebut, try praying before every meal. if you already do this, then that's the best i can come up with. it doesn't matter who you may particularly choose to pray to - just pray. just ask the Lord, the Universe, the Sun, the Moon, the Ocean - whatever - just ask for it's help. the entire universe is connected in some way - and you are part of it. you can always call on it's strength to help and guide you forever.
you are in a very exciting and interesting place in your life and i am glad to have found you. i like your positivity. i like the adventure that you are on. and you are definitely on an adventure - and i want you to have the time of your life!
sending love.
kymber
Hi Kymber :)) Nice to hear from you :) Thanks so much again for your support! My spirituality is nothing structured, I live by the seasons, and I'm more nature-oriented. I do have a few mantras, which I guess could be called prayers, that I say several times a day to keep me centered and balanced...and they really do wonders for my anxiety when it's not overpowering! I'm glad you're tagging along on my adventure!! The more the merrier, I'm so excited for every day I have :))) Sending love right back at you! xx
Deleteyeah...trump. i've never wanted to change something so bad in my entire life.
ReplyDeleteJoyce, I'm not political at all but I hope you get the changes you want! :)
Delete